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Filmmaker's Diary:
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American Airlines Flight 898.
Seat 28E.
8 a.m.
The movie: Spider-Man.
I doubt I'll enjoy it.
My wife Melody and I are jetting to the east coast for a short vacation in Miami, and a drive up to Gainesville to see Ned, Anne & Harper. I won't be in Hogtown long, but I'm looking forward to it. Sort of. I mean, of course I'm happy to see my friend, shake his hand, and kiss his wife and baby. However, I'm always slightly nervous about delivering the state of the project. Especially right now, since it looks like shite. Although this visit is a lot less stressful than the last one in which I brought a rough cut. I stayed up all night that time finishing up the exporting, and had serious technical difficulties with it. This time was not like that, at all. I downloaded a patch from the Adobe website which made exporting a snap. I mean, I stayed up all night, but only to be able to sleep on the plane, not because I had to get anything done. Actually, I did work, but it was just running the rough cut on the timeline and recording it to the camera...fuck, I'm rambling. I need to go to sleep.
Anyway, we'll see what Ned has to say about what I've got. I feel like it's not nearly as far advanced as it should be, and I'm not wrong about that. Shit, it should be finished but I haven't been able to devote the time to it that it deserves. Someday soon, I'll write the supplemental entry that Ned has been asking for, which details the events that took place between the completion of photography and the moment I started keeping this diary. I think it will involve an elephant, but I don't know, I haven't made it up. I don't know what that means.
Where was I? Oh, yes, Spider-Man. How can you show that movie on an airplane? I haven't seen it, but it appears to be quite heavy on the CGI, don't you know? I think the movie on the flight back is My Big Fat Greek Wedding. You can't hear this but I'm laughing -- giggling uncontrollably. My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Punchy, punchy.
Ned made a cut of the song Fishbee Island which we recorded June 2001 at the Florida Theatre. He seems to be as nervous to show me that as I am to show him my shit. My shit!? You fuckin' my shit UP, mookie! [Neditor: Alex, do the right thing.] I'm sure it will be awesome. Speaking of awesome, Dionysis finished cutting the stuff I gave her. That's very encouraging. I watched the tape at the airport gate (gate 42B, C.S., if you're curious, and I know you're not) and she's got the right idea. There are a few things I would have done differently, but das kewl. What's encouraging is the quickness with which she did it. Actually, I'm encouraged that she did it at all. I dropped off some more footage for her to assemble while I'm gone -- it's a band reunion that I shot the same weekend in June that I shot the Florida Theatre stuff. The band is sitting around talking about where they are now when Ned reveals that he and Anne are having a baby. Hilarity ensues. Although Ned did not think it was hilarious at the time. In fact, I doubt he thinks it's funny now. But it makes for good footage. How it fits into the whole project I don't know, but what I don't know could fill a whorehouse.
One very interesting development of late is what Di told my wife Melody. It seems that she [Di] thinks Ned [me] is an 'asshole' ['genius'].
Melody breaks in (with a balsawood chair): Well, she was very politely trying to find the right words to describe Ned and not hurt my feelings (being that he's our friend and all) and so I helped by giving her the word 'asshole', and she agreed that's the word she was looking for. And then she also said, almost apologetically, 'I know Alex thinks he's funny...'
Di's remark threw me for a loop at first. I mean, she doesn't even know Ned, she's basing this entirely on the footage I gave her to watch (the last rough cut). But then I realized this was WONDERFUL. My big fat Greek concern about this movie has always been my own personal attachment to Ned and the rest of the band, but especially Ned. But especially Bart! If Di doesn't share this sentiment, and it appears that she doesn't, then she could be just the safeguard I need to ensure at least a bit of objectivity. I confronted her about what she said, which embarrassed her a bit. It actually should embarrass me, since I betrayed my wife's confidence. But ye know not the depths of my duplicity. Di just said that it will be a challenge to present these folks truthfully AND sympathetically. Isn't that awesome? To me, that seems to be the story of PopCanon: wonderful, smart, funny, talented people who for some reason seem unlikable. Or maybe even are unlikable. Why shouldn't the movie be the same way? This is fantastic. Di will serve as an unprejudiced pair of eyes. I'm sleepy. If we start to go down, don't wake me...
[I'm compelled to bust in here for a moment and defend myself against these scurrilous charges: you know, IF being totally self-centered and self-absorbed (and absorbent) and socially maladroit and caring only about The Rocking and treating every friend and family member like my employee (and a bad employee at that) and saying just about anything at all to everyone regardless of the consequences to their feelings, our relationship or even just the simple social fabric of courtesy and consideration that binds us all together makes me an asshole well all right, then -- I guess I AM guilty as charged ... but need I remind you: Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole. Not like you. Not in New York.]
This movie sucks. Why is Ray Romano in it? Oh wait a minute, that's an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. Have you ever been sleepy, and you think only a few moments have passed, but it's actually been a few hours? Willem Dafoe has such a great face. Why did they cover it up with that stupid mask? Even though I don't think I can fairly judge this movie, since I'm watching an edited version on a plane, on a tiny screen far from my head, and I've slept through most of it, I still think it sucks. Now Doris Roberts -- there's an actor!
Oh, did I mention that I had two pocketknives in my carry-on bag? Yeah, I didn't mention it to airport security, either. A couple years ago my brother bought me one of these knives in Mexico. I put it in my bookbag, and at that very moment said "Shit, if I ever fly with this bag, I better remove this." Rather than remove it, I actually acquired a second knife to join it. Again, "Don't forget ..." Imagine my surprise when the bag checkers at LAX axed me about them. By all rights I should be cooling my heels in the airport jail now, getting 'interrogated' by Laurence Tierney. I think what saved me is the fact that my wife was so angry with me that security figured I was fucked anyway. Which I wasn't. Turns out my wife loves me. [Just like Everybody Loves Raymond!] Suckers! Take THAT, people trying to ensure my safety!